Sunday, March 24, 2013

5 Ways on how to become a people magnet

We all know people who smart, friendly and mulit-talented, and yet never reach their potential.  In this article , we will explore why this is the case and how you can build a power network of resources you can  rely on a daily basis. After all our personal success depends largely on your ability not only to establish key relationships, but gain the willing co-operation of others on whom you depend. Decide in advance what type of relationship you want to create and operate from that perspective. In relationships , it takes two to have a conversation which either leads to a yes or no. Focus on your commitment first, knowing that the person is free to disagree. How we begin a relationship and how we behave in it, is important factor in making in mutually beneficial.

We build long-term relationships using 3 strategies. In this article we will discuss all them in depth

Think of successful people you find interesting, one who have a network they can call on. This type of connection doesn’t just happen. When people are walking up an escalator in a mall, they are indifferent to each other. They’re not bad people, it’s just that they have no authentic connection with each other.
The first step in any relationship is to create a platform of trust and respect. Contrary to societies belief, it less than five minutes, it’s possible to connect to others at a level deeper than most people create in months or even years. The key is  active listening to connect with that the person you are connecting with values.

Some people are fun to be around, others are not. We all know people who seem to create connections to get some for themselves. Networking groups are filled with people who take, but give little in return. Create you network by being a “giver” and with others who want to connect with you. If you uninterested in assisting others to get what they want and are simple looking for techniques and tools to get what you want, then you may wake away empty handed

Connecting Strategy 1: Connect with other by their first name and forget the negative

We have a different relationship once we call each other by our first name. While most entrepreneurial business owners know this, few take it to the level of good intentions. Many have said that they are not able to remember names and stop trying, not even making effort is true shame.

Day and weeks in journey of consumers we hear and see examples of people who do connect to others by their first name. Think of the last time you made a purchase at retail store for an item using your credit card and the store clerk called you by your first and last name printed on your credit card! (no genius memory required). When you walk into a Walmart and you walk by the greeter do you call them by their first name?

In best-selling book “How do win friends and influence people” Dale Carnegie states that a person’s name, to them, is the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Begin your connection by separating each person from the many by calling them by their first name.

It’s very important to begin a relationship on a positive way. Criticism puts others on the defensive, and usually make them strive to justify themselves and argue. Some just completely become ignorant and distance themselves  for the person making the complaint. That being said, many people fail to recognize how much criticizing, condemning and complaining they may be doing. It’s oblivious to them.

Connecting Strategy 2: Being appreciate networker

Giving sincere and well deserved appreciation is often misunderstood and mistaken as being manipulative. We long for sincere praise and seldom receive it. When we suggest people give specific, positive feedback in a meeting, there is often  silence and discomfort in getting feedback. This shows that this kind of feedback is missing our daily lives, especially in our workplace.

Criticism has its placed no matter in the workplace or in professional conversation. Ask for permission to give feedback is positive way to give back constructive feedback. 

                                                    “Appeciation can be done in various ways”

Don’t expect a reciprocal expectation for praise and feedback, simply work on becoming a more appreciate person. Through the following ways:

1st   Give sincere compliment to people you meet daily

2nd Send a card of Thank you, Birthday etc.  

3rd  Send or share an email with specific contacts in your network

It’s about it becoming a habit!

In the book Think and Grow Rich, Charles Schwab was the first person to receive million dollar salary in the 1930 explains it this way “There is nothing else that so kills he ambitious person as criticism from his superiors. I am anxious to praise and loath to find fault.”

Connecting Principle 3: Communicate your genuine interest in other people

This is more challenging that it seems, key word is to be genuine.  Let’s say you are at networking event and your meeting new people. The key strategy that I  share  when teach the P-A-R strategy which stands for Presentation, Attitude and Response is to ask two questions which genuine interest this creates the opportunity learn more about “them” and have a more engaging conversation. 

Everyone has a sign on the forehead which says “Make me feel important”

You do this enough times and you will created reciprocal interest in what you do from the conversation.
Lastly as mention in the book Think and Grow Rich, the most important work people love to hear is their “name”.

Communication Principle 4: Listen for the other person’s point of view

Listening to other point of view can create some magical answers for.
You can take the opportunity to ask them questions regarding topics you may have similar interest in, from movies, sports or business ventures.

This will do a few things for you, give you perspective, insights and opinion on how you could perhaps improve and change something to  better appeal to your market.

Dale Carnegie says it best where he share a case study of 500 telephone conversation. What world was used 3,900 times in these calls?  You guessed right, “I,I,I”

Connecting Principle 5: When you open your mouth, talk in terms of other person’s interest

Through the article the common theme has been, “It’s all about them” and it may seem such a simple strategy to use, my experience is that it’s not as hard to complete. It’s about habit and repetition that are the keys to success in have a great conversation.  

Let them do the most of the talking by asking questions and listening to connect with them at the level of what they value. Then, and only then, can you sincerely talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
There are many networking groups that you can join that will teach you these principles from the BNI to meet up groups where entrepreneurs meet.

There are also great book from Ivan Misner, Donna Messer, Liz Lynch and Jennifer Beale that share strategies on how to become effective networkers.

In sharing these 5 principles it’s important to realize that its process that you do over and over again that you evolve over time and you will share and empower other do as well.

Get Connected 21st Century Today!

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